No Mustard Only On Race

Top Ten Unfair—And Untrue—Racial Stereotypes
10) Asians make fantastic drivers
9) Indians are all allergic to curry
8) White people are capable of the most prolific slam-dunks
7) Jewish people spend money with reckless abandon
6) All Genies live in lamps
5) Native Americans consider it a sin to promote gambling
4) The majority of babies cannot read
3) Germans are offended by David Hasselhoff
2) All Angels are heroin addicts
1) Extremely tall people don't mind when you sit in the exit row on airplanes


Today's topic is all about race.  We here at No Mustard Only are sensitive to race issues, and we would like to talk about the Census form for a minute.   Refer here for guidance if you need to. Are you ready?  Ok.  First, why did the census form first ask me if I was Hispanic, Latino or Spanish (item 8), and then afterward ask me my race (item 9)?  In the second question, neither Hispanic, Latino or Spanish was an option.  How were Hispanic people supposed to answer item number 9?  Are they considered white?  If so, that is HUGE for white people.  I had no idea the white race was so diverse.

And second, with item 9, Why does it say "Black, African Am. or Negro?"  Does this mean those are three separate sub-races, or is it just three names for the same race?  I suppose they want to be sure to include all names for the race, in case there's someone out there that considers themselves a "Negro," for example, but has no idea what "Black" or "African Am." means.  We wouldn't want them confused about what box to check.

Lastly, what is this race referred to as Guamanian or Chamorro?  I've never heard of that.  Is it new?  What are these people like, and more importantly, what are their stereotypes?  Is this race really deserving of its own box?  I mean, couldn't this fall under the "some other race" category?  I think this whole race thing is really ambiguous and not really well defined.  In fact, I was seriously tempted to just check the "some other race" box and put "Michigander" in there.  Why can't that be its own race?

Finally,
I will include one bonus list, also about race

Top Ten Races
10) The Kentucky Derby
9) The Indy 500
8) The Tour de France
7) The Boston Marathon
6) The 2008 Beijing Olympics 400 meter swimming medley relay final
5) The Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race
4) The Amazing Race
3) The Iditarod
2) The 100 meter dash
1) The Human Race

Top Ten Grades I Got In College

10) D+
9) C-
8) C
7) Pass
6) C+
5) B-
4) B
3)B+
2) A-
1) tie A/A+

Top Ten Ways to Transport Things

10. In a bucket
9. In a bag with a hole in it
8. During January
7. Ask someone to kindly do it for you
6. Expeditiously
5. From one shelf to another
4. With a friend
3. On the expressway
2. In a bag with no hole in it
1. Accurately

True or False: People Can Change

False: I used to think that people could change.  You know, like Ebenezer Scrooge, who changes from an old frugal dickhead to a fun-loving old man who throws gold coins everywhere.  But then I realized that was just pure fiction.  I noticed that people are just set in their ways, and that they are just going to act consistent with the way they always would.  If they were good people, they'll stay good people.  If they were dickheads, they'll stay dickheads.  Once a dork, always a dork and so on and so forth.  People are just born a certain way and there's nothing they can do about it to change.  And then I realized... whoa, I just changed myself, by changing my belief in whether people can change or not.  If I could change my opinion on such a core belief, so could anyone.  All it takes is a little inspiration and maybe a visit from some ghosts or something.  Thus I changed back to believing in the fact that people can indeed change.  But hold on a minute.  I then realized that my fundamental basis for believing that people can change, namely that I changed myself by changing my belief that people can change, was in fact a lie.  I hadn't changed.  I had gone right back to the original belief that I had, that people can indeed change.  Because I had demonstrated that I had not changed myself, I realized that people don't really change, they are always the same as they were originally.  Thus, there you have it.  People cannot change, even though I truly believe otherwise.

On this Day in History 1681

On April 7, 1681 Josh Eli the First is elected as the first ever Jewish Pope.

Misquoted Movie Lines

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Kinds of People

Black people, white people,
Heavy people, light people
Day people, night people,
Why do people fight people?

Left people, right people,
Dumb people, bright people,
Loose people, tight people,
Clowns tend to delight people.

Large people, slight people,
Maybe people, might people,
Width people, height people,
Go fly a kite people.

Wrong people, right people,
Sound people, sight people,
Dark people, light people,
Monkeys are not quite people.

Laugh people, fright people,
Talk people, write people,
Sip people, bite people,
Letters to invite people.

Dragon people, knight people,
Sailing people, flight people,
Fairy people, sprite people,
The English are polite people.

There are all kinds of people in this world,
Living together, blended and swirled,
And most of them suck!