Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Interesting Things About Animals

Lemur Monkeys sometimes have sex with their wives on top of a cactus to keep them safe from predators.

No Rhinoceros has ever been struck by lightning.

The clamping force of an alligator's jaw is enough to break right through bone, wood, even rock.  However, their opening force is so week that if a small bird lands on top of their mouth, they can't even open it.

The reason that dogs bark is because they have an itchy throat.

Birds fly in a "V" formation because it points in the direction that they need to go.  Its how the dumber birds avoid getting lost.

Zebras are considered the funniest in the animal kingdom.  Especially by hyenas.

The male giraffe has breasts and a vagina, and gives birth to babies.  Female giraffes, on the other hand have a penis and it is their sperm that inseminates male giraffes.  Essentially, the male and females of giraffes are exactly the opposite of most other species.

Mermaids use a form of currency that is immune to inflation.

You shouldn't ask an octopus if he plays the drums.  Odds are that he does, but it is still a pretty offensive question.

Australian fruit bats use a high frequency "sonar" to communicate.  This "sonar" is quickly becoming the most effective means for advertising among the fruit bats, second only to billboards.

Unicorns would kill their prey (usually panda bears), eat their fill, which was only a small portion, and then piss on the carcass so that no other animal would be able to eat the remains.  This selfish act is why unicorns were considered one of the most despised in the animal kingdom before becoming extinct over fifty years ago.

Penguin milk is extremely high in fat, cholesterol and sodium.  It even has alcohol in it.  Penguin parents will go to extreme measures to prevent their young from feeding upon it.

Long before the dinosaurs ever came into existence, there roamed the earth a species of "super" dinosaurs.  These creatures were as large as seventy regular dinosaurs and became extinct hundreds of millions of years before the regular dinosaurs existed.  Scientists believed that these "super" dinosaurs only existed on the planet for about six weeks before becoming extinct!

Fish are considered by most to be the most bored animals.

Lizard culinary tactics are the most advanced in the animal kingdom, while pheasant is the cheapest, and thus the most popular.

The reason butterflies never wear pants is because they are hundreds of years out of fashion.

If a wombat has a secret that it should not divulge, it will keep that secret until it dies.  Even advanced forms of torture like water boarding will not get them to reveal it!

Oysters have over 700 words for "pearl."

Unsurprisingly, falcons, eagles and hawks have the most advanced air force in the animal kingdom.  However, you might find it somewhat shocking to hear that the shark navy is a laughing stock.

The very first Easter Bunny was actually a chameleon.

No mountain goat has ever won a head slamming championship in back-to-back seasons.

Most lobsters are assholes.  You shouldn't feel guilty at all about their screaming when you put them in a pot of boiling water.

Most ants do not consider Renaissance art to be all that impressive.  They tend to prefer works from the Baroque period.  Just kidding.  Ants like all art!