For those who don't know, the Darwin Awards go to people who die in the most stupid fashion. The awards are given out to people who cut off their line of the gene pool early for being idiots. Here are my winners this year.
Chesterfield, Missouri: A man, attempting to test the durability of a knot he was learning to tie, was found dead hanging by his throat from the knot in his basement. Apparently, after placing the knot around his neck, he slipped off his stool and couldn't remove himself from the knot, and he suffocated! Oopsies.
Kokomo, Indiana: A woman was found dead after having consumed a lethal dosage of prescription drugs and alcohol. I guess no one told this lady, who was suffering from depression at the time, that you shouldn't take wash down 25 Valliums with a fifth of Smirnoff. Oh darn!
Sheboygan, Wisconsin: A man was driving beyond the speed limit in unfavorable weather conditions. After losing control of his vehicle, he slammed into an abutment of a highway overpass and became paralyzed. While in the hospital, the man, now hooked up to a hospital life support system, died when his life support system was unplugged, at his instruction, so that he could charge his iphone. I guess there's no app for that!
Seattle, Washington: A man was chewing on the end of the barrel of his handgun, when the gun accidentally went off, sending a bullet through his mouth and brain, killing him dead on the spot. It is unknown why the gun actually went off, but seriously folks, don't try to taste a gun, nothing good can come of it!
Aspen Colorado: A skier avoided all warnings and ventured beyond the legal ski limits, taking her into treacherous territory filled with obstacle. Halfway down the hill, the woman fell tragically, breaking her leg in 2 places. 72 years later she died of breast cancer. Idiot!
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