Saturday, March 6, 2010

Ten Menu Items at Flish Segoo's Three Star Restaurant, The Holey Moley

10. Retarded Maine lobsters with yellow carrots, wild turnips & anteater’s blood
9. Farm raised salamander wings glazed with a butternut ashphalt
8. Chilled Dragon claws with correander stems in a cilantro-lime ice jelly
7. Black people's figs with shaved happiness, marcona almonds & toothpaste
6. Kidnapped pheasant children broasted with puffy potatoes and doused with pancreatic fluid
5. Recently raped quail marinated in crocodile tears with New Mexican slaw
4. Delicately removed beef liver tumors with a carmelized onion paste floating in an albatross consomme
3. Whole roasted squab breast with maple leaves and viola strings, breathed on by a newborn baby
2. Siamese twin hippopotamus tail, satsuma with cigar ash, sauternes and pear gravel
1. Snuffleupagus* medallions with truffle oil, crab meat atop a fried bald eagle egg
* Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness.

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