What is No Mustard Only?

No Mustard Only is a way to order shit. Its what you say when you'd like everything but mustard. See, "no mustard" is the "only" thing you want to put in the "no" category, so you therefore submit to having everything else on your order. Frankly, this is not any way to order something in the real world. Sure, you save a few calories by taking out the mustard, and perhaps you don't even like the taste of mustard anyway, the tangy yellow flavor that draws out the salty smokiness of meats and cheeses. Fine. But it also means you get everything else on it. Lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, avacados, and pepper. You also get everything else, like worcestershire, cumin, onions and parsley. I mean everything! Tires, apples, flutes, lightning and Dartmouth. Dartmouth! A whole fucking college! You want that on your sandwich? Nope. So don't ask for no mustard only.