Top Ten Ways to Avoid Telling People Something You Don't Want To Tell Them

10) Mumble
9) Be eating
8) Change the subject
7) Turn up the music
6) Pretend that that there actually is a lock on your mouth and that someone really threw away the key
5) Kill them
4) Tell them they don't really want to know
3) Be under water
2) Lie
1) Oh, just fucking tell them